


Mysteries and Mistakes

by nobodynose



Series: Mysteries and Mistakes (twoshot) [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Drowning, Gen, Regret, Sad Ending, Suicide, i was half asleep when i wrote this bear with me.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:33:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28288485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nobodynose/pseuds/nobodynose
Summary: Tubbo just wants to see Tommy. That's all.[Title from the song Unsaid Emily. Please listen to it, it fits the Tubbo-thinking-Tommy-died aesthetic very well]
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Series: Mysteries and Mistakes (twoshot) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137773
Comments: 22
Kudos: 92





	Mysteries and Mistakes

**Author's Note:**

> I was half alseep when I wrote this so that's why it sounds so mumbled jumbled. Hope you enjoy regardless.
> 
> !! TW FOR SUICIDE !!  
> Please don't read if you can't, stay safe 💜

Tubbo couldn't breathe anymore. 

He stood there, with his hand over his mouth, struggling to inhale. He shut his eyes as tightly as he could, as if he could will away what he had seen.

Logstedshire. In pieces. How that happened, Tubbo didn't know. But he did know that what he was seeing was real, because it's right here. And seeing is believing. 

But he didn't want to see it, so he shut his eyes. Maybe it'll go away. He hoped it would go away.

Logstedshire in pieces. Tommy's home reduced to nothing but a crater and a couple of ashes.

Tommy's home. He was supposed to be living here. Tubbo came to visit him. He was going to talk to him. He was going to cry with him, apologize to him, ask him to help him - anything to reconvene with his friend. He should've been right here, living. This was his home.

Reduced to nothing but a crater and a couple of ashes. 

Where's Tommy?

Tubbo heard his own voice, but did it even sound like his anymore? Cracked, sad, quiet, almost as if it came from a different dimension. Where is he?

He's in Logstedshire. Well, what  _ was  _ Logstedshire. 

There's a tower. 

Tommy loved building towers.

This was Tommy's home.

Reduced.

The tower was incomplete, but tall. Taller than any tower that Tubbo had seen him build. Out of dirt - the tower was built out of dirt. Tommy likes cobblestone. Cobblestone isn't scarce here, is it? Why would it be?

The tower is sad.

Pathetic, even.

Did Tommy even try with this one? Like, sure, usually his towers are kind of crappy, but he puts his whole heart in soul into making it look as Tommy as possible. This one, though…

Where's Tommy?

Tommy?

There it is again- Tubbo's voice. He knows it's his voice. He knows that's his voice even though it sounds like it's coming from a different dimension. He knows why it sounds cracked and sad and quiet, he just doesn't want to admit it.

He knows where Tommy is and he just doesn't want to say it.

The tower must go to the block limit. A singular strip of dirt that goes higher than the clouds, with no way down and no way up unless you built it from the top.

And Logstedshire, reduced to a crater and a couple of ashes, beside it.

Tommy's home.

_ He finally broke. _

Tears were running down Tubbo's face and he knew they were. This was all his fault, he deserves to be crying.

His best friend, reduced to a crater and a couple of ashes. 

He doesn't want to leave but he doesn't want to see, he just wants his Tommy. 

Or  _ someone. _ Someone to hug him and tell him that Tommy is just in the woods over there, looking for the right oak tree to build a new house out of. To tell him that the dirt tower was just a base for a much more dominating cobblestone tower, and that the only thing he meant by the explosion of Logstedshire was to destroy the spider that wouldn't get out of his house.

No one was here. Where's Tommy?

Finally Tubbo could breath, but the air came crashing into his lungs, tearing up his insides as if he wasn't capable of holding it all. It's all so much pressure - so much to look after. He's let his best friend down and everyone's watching him but  _ no one's here. _

_ Dream, may you escort Tommy out of L'manburg.  _

What a final statement. 

The exile of his best friend, because he was a selfish little brat who didn't know how to make others happy.

_ He's  _ the selfish little brat who just wants what's best for himself. Those stupid discs kept getting in the way. All Tubbo wanted to do was play in the fields and swim with the pufferfish (at a reasonable distance), just as boys their age were supposed to do.

Tommy wanted the  _ discs. _

But Tubbo couldn't even convince himself of this. Because he called  _ Tommy  _ selfish, while he was the leader of an entire nation at 16 years old, exiling his best friend because he wanted people to think he had power over them. That's more selfish than anything Tommy had  _ ever  _ done.

He's not making any sense, and he knows he isn't. He can't form a coherent thought because all he can think about is Tommy's home, reduced to a crater and a couple of ashes. And the fact that Tommy might have done this on purpose.

And the fact that it was all his fault.

He stopped breathing again, and everything went black.

* * *

He woke up drowning.

Not quite, but definitely in the water. How did he get here? The tide must have come up while he was passed out. How did he pass out again?

But then he remembered, and he wished he hadn't. 

"Tommy?" But the word was barely audible, and more bubbles came out of his mouth than words. Because- oh right. He was underwater.

He knew how to swim. He wasn't swimming.

He recalled all of those times he had told Tommy he'd stick by him, no matter what they were going through. He had broken that promise. He had broken it so hard and so cruelly, never giving himself a chance to apologize. 

Both him and Tommy were too stubborn for their own good, and maybe that's why they're in this situation. That's okay.

He closed his eyes. They were hurting. He was underwater. Oh right.

Tommy was the only thing keeping him going, maybe. Maybe he wanted to show him that he could run a country the right way (despite Tommy's arguments) even if exiling him was part of that ruling.

Or maybe he didn't want to rule and thought he'd be able to run away with Tommy. Or fake the exile. 

Fake the exile! Why didn't he  _ fake the fucking exile?  _

Screw all of this. 

Why can't it just be the way it was before? Maybe that's all he really wanted. 

And… oxygen. Oxygen would be good right about now. 

Or a hug. Or a talk. With Tommy. He's. He's okay.

He's not making any sense and he knows he's not. They've never made any sense together and this wasn't going to be an expectation. 

He didn't deserve to be with Tommy after everything he's done to him. But it's what he needs right now. He doesn't care if Tommy screams and shouts at him, telling him that he's the last person he wanted to see.

Because Tubbo just wants to see Tommy. 

He didn't deserve to, but he will.

_ Selfish. _

He breathed in, and everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> cries.
> 
> If i made you cry then gg i have won.
> 
> Comments are very cool u should do that to give me serotonin 😎


End file.
